Big Thief – Incomprehensible. Lyrics & Meaning

Big Thief – Incomprehensible : A Gentle Anthem for Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Self

Ever feel like you’re standing in front of a mirror, looking at a stranger? Not in a spooky way, but more like you’re trying to piece together who you are, who you were, and who you’re supposed to become. There’s this quiet pressure, right? A checklist of life goals and a silent clock ticking away, telling you to have it all figured out. It’s a feeling that can be heavy, a weight of expectations we often don’t even realize we’re carrying.

Well, what if there was a song that felt like a deep, cleansing breath in the middle of all that chaos? A song that wraps you in a blanket and tells you it’s okay not to fit into a neat little box. Big Thief’s hauntingly beautiful track, “Incomprehensible,” does exactly that. It’s more than just a song; it’s a quiet revolution, and we’re about to unpack the beautiful, tangled-up meaning behind it.

The Road Trip of a Lifetime in Big Thief’s “Incomprehensible”

The song kicks off with a scene so vivid you can almost feel the misty air on your skin. It paints a picture of a spontaneous road trip, a journey born from a missed flight. It’s a perfect metaphor for life, isn’t it? The best adventures often happen when our original plans fall apart.

Adrianne Lenker sings:

• Big Thief – Incomprehensible : A Gentle Anthem for Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Self
• Big Thief – All Night All Day : Finding Sanctuary in Raw Intimacy

Highway 17, cotton candy rain
Driving with my lover, we missed our plane
So we added on the hours to see the lupine flowers
Way up past the border, we blew through Thunder Bay

This isn’t just about a scenic drive through Ontario. It’s about the journey inward. As she drives, she’s also traveling through her own memories, revisiting the relics of her childhood. She’s carrying “some stuff I left when I was a kid,” like a teddy bear and a wooden box. It’s a powerful image of us carrying our past selves into our future.

Shedding the Past to Make Room for the New

But here’s the crucial part: she realizes these things don’t hold the same power anymore. The “broken gadgets that mean nothing now” are being let go. What does she keep? The things that truly matter: “the letters and the photographs.” She’s curating her own history, deciding what to carry forward and what to leave behind. This moment of reflection is triggered by an approaching birthday, a classic milestone for introspection.

In two days, it’s my birthday, and I’ll be 33
That doesn’t really matter next to eternity
But I like a double number, and I like an odd one, too
And everything I see from now on will be something new

This isn’t sadness about getting older; it’s an awakening. It’s a realization that every moment forward is a fresh start, a chance to see the world with new eyes, unburdened by the junk we used to cling to.

Challenging the Ugly Truth About Aging

This is where the song really hits its stride and delivers its most profound message. Lenker tackles the fear of aging head-on, not as a personal failing, but as a concept force-fed to us by society. It’s something we’re taught to fear.

I’m afraid of getting older, that’s what I’ve learned to say
Society has given me the words to think that way
The message spirals, don’t get saggy, don’t get gray

Wow. It’s so direct and honest. She’s calling out the cultural narrative that equates youth with beauty and aging with decay. But she doesn’t stop there. She flips the entire script, transforming symbols of aging into emblems of profound, living beauty. She looks at the “soft and lovely silvers” on her shoulder not as a loss, but as a connection to the women who came before her.

My mother and my grandma, my great-grandmother, too
Wrinkle like the river, sweeten like the dew
And as silver as the rainbow scales that shimmer purple blue

This is just breathtaking. She compares wrinkles to the natural, powerful flow of a river. She finds sweetness in the process. It’s a radical act of self-love and an honor to her lineage. It’s a defiant and beautiful argument that life, in all its stages, is inherently true and beautiful.

The Freedom of Being “Incomprehensible”

So, what does it all lead to? This brings us back to the title. Being “Incomprehensible” isn’t about being confusing or misunderstood in a negative way. It’s about wanting the freedom to exist without labels, definitions, or expectations. It’s a plea to just be.

This final section of the song is a declaration of independence. It’s about surrendering to the natural forces of life instead of fighting them.

So let gravity be my sculptor, let the wind do my hair
Let me dance in front of people without a care
Let me be naked alone, with nobody there
With mismatched socks and shoes and stuff stuffed in my underwear

This is pure, unadulterated freedom. It’s about embracing imperfection—the mismatched socks, the messy hair. It’s about finding comfort in your own skin, without needing an audience or their approval. The repeated plea, “Incomprehensible, let me be,” becomes a mantra. It says: Let me be complex. Let me be messy. Let me change. Don’t try to figure me out. Just let me exist.

The message here is so wonderfully liberating. This song gives us permission to let go of the impossible standards we hold for ourselves. It encourages us to find beauty in our own unique, ever-changing journey—wrinkles, gray hairs, mismatched socks, and all. It’s a reminder that our true essence can’t be, and shouldn’t be, easily understood or categorized.

What a powerful and gentle song. It feels less like a performance and more like a secret whispered from a friend. I’d love to hear what you think. Does this interpretation resonate with you, or do you hear something entirely different in its beautiful, quiet chords? Let’s talk about it!